Don't You Wan't To Share The Guilt?
by Emily Kimber
Summary: When you're pre-destined to spend the rest of eternity together, things are never as easy as they seem-and the intentions of others are never quite clear.


**Disclaimer-I don't own Jacob, Nessie, Edward, Bella or anyone else in this story (except any human OCs). Though...I wish I owned Jacob ;)**

My heart fluttered as he ran his fingers through my curls. I opened my eyes to see a wide grin spread across his tan face. It was nice to see someone in this house who wasn't pale-white.

"Morning sunshine" I said in a scratchy voice.

"Ouch. Is someone sick?" His smile was slightly deflated, but amusement lingered in his eyes.

"I don't really think that's possible." I said, my voice now much more composed.

"Ahh" He concluded, his eyes sparkling.

"Why are _you _up so early? This situation is usually reversed." I asked.

"Well, it's a big day, isn't it? I primp, too." He replied.

Instantly, I giggled, and he couldn't keep a straight face, either.

The door creaked, and Jacob & I looked up to see EMS

"Sorry to interrupt", she said, obviously trying to keep a giggle or two in, "but we have about..30 minutes to get ready, Ness."

I gasped, and suddenly cursed myself for not buying an alarm clock. Already, I missed our Washington home.

"Oh! Thanks, Esme"

She winked and closed the door.

"Umm..I need to get dressed, Jacob" I said, with slight embarrassment. He smiled, and murmured "Sure, Sure" as he walked out.

I looked at my closet-which was as big as my room- and realized I didn't recognize half of the clothes in it.

_Alice_, I thought. I didn't mind, of course-I only _wished_ I had as much fashion sense as her. I turned around to see a mannequin-perfectly my size-fully dressed-with clothes I'd never seen before. Ahh, Alice.

When I walked downstairs, I could smell an array of breakfast flavors-bacons, omlettes..and possibly pancakes. If I was lucky, Jacob had already ate more than half. Though human food wasn't my favorite, I had grown to like just a few choices- but my dad was always pushing me to try different things-most of which I ended up hating.

I was right- when I came down, Jacob was already scarfing down a giant peace of bacon. He smiled goofily at me when I walked in. I spotted a chunk of food in his teeth, and I wasn't the only one.

"I sure hope you haven't already brushed your teeth, Jacob" Alice said, and giggled.

I giggled too, and he looked at me sheepishly. My plate was barely covered- just the way I liked it.

The conversation was light and short- no one seemed interested in the event ahead, they had been through it hundreds of times before.

Except me.

Even my mom and Jacob, who hadn't been to a High School in seven years, didn't seem to be anticipating anything. Luckily, Alice sensed my frustration.

"Ness! I completely forgot...you've never even been to a school!" she said.

"S'bout somebody noticed" Jacob said, looking at my dad. He had already cleared his plate.

"It's not that interesting, really" Jasper said, sitting next to Alice.

"The trick is to keep up the human facade," Rosalie added, "But I guess that's not hard for you."

That was something I was grateful for. I wouldn't have to fake bathroom breaks, or avoid the sunlight.

"You'll definitely be the smartest _human_ there." My mom chuckled, and my tension eased.

The cover-up story had changed a bit since the last time the Cullens attended a school. Bella had to give up the last name Cullen-much to her dismay-and she, Jasper, and Rosalie posed as the Hales, while Alice, Edward, Emmett, and I were the Cullens. And Jacob, who decided to follow us for the rest of our days, was now Jacob Wolfe. The rest of it stayed the same- Carlisle was a doctor who decided to adopt eight full-grown kids.

Edward's volvo seemed unusually cramped with the four of us.

"Kids in back", he had said teasingly. I hissed at him.

The school was far away- about 20 miles. On the way there, we listened to some of my dads music for a few minutes, but Jacob couldn't take it; he wasn't the intellectual type.

While Jacob gazed out the window idly, my eyes found their way to him. He was my best friend; just like he was my moms, years ago. What their whole story was, I wasn't really sure. I had never asked, but I noticed it was a topic they generally avoided.

Jacob was always _mine_. I was closer to him than I was to my own father. And thats what I always saw him as, the father/older brother figure. And I was the little sister.

But these days, I couldn't be sure _what_ he meant to me; and what I meant to him. Typical human indecision-I hated it. I couldn't ask him, either. Way to ruin the relationship between me and my favorite person.

The reason I couldn't be quite sure about my feelings toward Jacob was that I was afraid my outside surroundings were influencing me too much. There were ten people in our household, all of which

were passionately in love-except me and Jacob. It seemed like it was already pre-destined for me; I had no choice.

That didn't satisfy me, though. If Jacob had yet to say anything, then I wouldn't wait around for him. I wasn't afraid to engage in a few more-than-friendly relationships with the humans at our new school; it's not like I was that different from them. I just knew that I should try to keep it from-

I stopped there, remembering my father in the car.

He shifted positions.

"Rensesmee..." He scolded, and I groaned.

"What! I can't make a few friends? It's bad enough that I have to go to school with my _parents_!" I whined, and crossed my arms.

"It's dangerous. We want to stay here as long as possible, and to do that, we have to be discreet."

I rolled my eyes. "What, you don't think I can..control myself? Come _on_, I'm not Jasper"

I hoped I hadn't crossed a line; but even if I did, I was right. Edward's tone darkened.

"Don't say that. It's for your own good. What if someone were to find out? What if you slipped up? And we'll only be here for three years, at the most. Anyone you get close to, you have to say goodbye to forever."

Hypocrite. "_You_ didn't follow that 'rule'. If you would have, I wouldn't have even been born!"

"That's different" he murmured, and tried dropped the issue.

"Hey, I left my _pack_ for you guys. I'll talk to who ever I want" Jacob added, and I heard my father growl.

"Momma? I can make friends...right?" I asked, in a sweeter tone. I knew it was only fair.

She sighed. "You have to be careful" she said slowly, looking at my father the whole time.

I smiled, and touched her face to share my happiness with her.

**A/N- So..is it okay? I've never written FanFiction before O. I'm bad with grammar, among a few other things, so feel free to point anything out that's not correct. And if anyone's OOC.**


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